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Personal Development Offerings - Sorting the wheat from the chaff

Have you noticed the explosion of self-improvement offerings in the last few years?  So much promise - ‘live the life of your dreams’, ‘the easy way to spiritual awakening’, ‘secrets’ and so on that tempt us to buy/enrol/leap aboard in the hope that we might improve the quality of our lives.  Along with more to choose from comes the challenge of sorting the wheat from the chaff - what offers genuine pointers to transformation and what is mere hype?

Amazon grew by 67% in the self improvement sector between 2007 and 2008 and now has well over 150,000 titles for sale.  The US ‘self improvement’ market alone is estimated to be worth $11 billion - growing at over a billion a year.  Assuming you are reading this because you are invested in your own personal growth and development/evolution, you like many others may find it a challenge to figure out what is useful and what is not.

The three key questions below have saved me time, money and disappointment (mostly) by supporting me in sussing out what is ‘on’ and what is ‘off’.  I have used them for over 20 years and find they still work well.  I trust you will find them as useful as I have.

  1. Is it exclusive or elitist?
     If I am told ‘this is ‘it’ - the only way, only the special need apply etc, I run a mile - in the opposite direction.  It indicates to me that the Ego is at work.  Why?  Because any genuine teacher will tell you there are many paths to the same place and we are all special - equally.  If something works in principle, it will work for anyone.  If a sense of superiority or enforced hierarchy is fostered by the teachings its another indicator of the Ego at work - especially those that elevate one individual to ‘guru‘ status?

  2. Where does the power lie at the end of the day? 
    After you have been to the course or read the book or watched the movie, is the power with you or the teacher?  If a dependency develops and you ‘have to’ read the next book, go to the next course or never miss a meeting in order for you to ‘really’ get it....be concerned (especially if the price goes up at each progressive stage!).  My suggestion?  The power should lie with you.  If it doesn’t, you are giving it away.

  3. Intuition - trust your guts. 
    When we are seeking help or guidance in our lives its often because we are in crisis or at a crossroads of some sort.  At these times we are often vulnerable to things that seduce us with unrealisitc promises.  Intuition is a powerful ‘superpower’ many of us do not know how to consciously access or use effectively.  Take the time to pause and tune in to your intuition.  Get to know how it works for you - it will inform your choices without allowing ego driven emotions to override your more subtle sense of deep inner truth.

Additional tips:  Assuming you are serious about your own growth and evolution, give yourself permission to (as Mick Quinn author of “The Uncommon Path...” says) be ‘a spiritual finder rather than an endless spiritual seeker’.  Growing personally is hard yakka at times.  Let yourself acknowledge when you have genuinely made progress.  You will also do yourself a huge favour by learning what works for you as a learner and honouring that.  Do you like to read, watch, write, talk, ‘do’, listen?  A combo?  Learn which modalities work best for you.

Be aware that your responses to the world now have been influenced profoundly by the experience you had as a tiny baby and then as a small child responding to your world then.  Decisions you made early in your life were made by a child making meaning of the world around them and their place in it - a child who did their very best in whatever conditions they grew up in.  Those decisions, that meaning, set the course for your entire life.  Observe children and notice.  Consciously accept that you were once a child, and that child moves through life with you now manifest as your deepest responses to your environment.  If you are willing to truly take responsibility for your life (and there is plenty of freedom in that) you will see that there is a path of recognition, acceptance, and empowerment available that is completely natural and leads to the life of your dreams.

Bottom line consider what you deeply desire your life to be about and let that guide your growth.  Your deepest desires, what is truly important to you (your values), combined with your very own natural potentials will be the driving force that compels you to grow through the down cycles of life and to ride the ups, to contribute the best of yourself to the collective you are part of and to fulfill your true purpose on this earth.

Amanda Fleming
p: +64 21 357753
e: info@amandafleming.co.nz
a: PO Box 56064
Dominion Road
Mt Eden
AUCKLAND