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THE POWER OF THE DEBRIEF - A THREE STEP MIRACLE MAKER

(thanks to Chris Harris for the inspiration!)  The power of reflection is a human superpower.  So is the power to imagine.  As far as we know, we are the only creatures that can pause and reflect on our attitudes, beliefs, values and behaviour.  We are the ones who have the power to candidly review our results and freely choose how we behave today, knowing we are impacting our tomorrows.  “If we keep going in the same direction we will end up where we are headed” (Chinese proverb). 

It is always summer here in New Zealand at the start of every year or decade or millenium, a time to harvest all sorts of goodies.  Right now is the perfect time to harvest last years learnings in this simple yet profound three step process (of course it can be used any time you complete something).  Before you begin ensure you frame this exercise as a positive opportunity.  The intention is use the past to contribute to the present - to ackowledge what happened, in this instance last year, and claim your best learnings before you consign 2010 to the annals of time (let it go with love).  Beware the egos tempted to use a debrief as a blame and shame session that provokes people to defend themselves and find excuses and reasons why things did or didn’t happen.  This is not the purpose of this kind of debrief nor is it useful. 

STEP ONE - The year in review. In your family, team or on your own make some dedicated minutes available to focus back on 2010.  Invite each person to write down (or think about) a short paragraph that encapsulates the following:

  • What sort of year was it for you?
  • What were the highlights?
  • What did you achieve?
  • What did you learn - really learn last year that you will take forward with you? Note: Mistakes are often our best teachers and the best place to look for life changing insights. They are the environments’ way of giving us information about corrections we need to make so look for your mis-takes and ‘bank‘ the learnings that came from them as truthfully as you can.  This is one way to become ‘wisdom rich’ so the quality of your decision making is enhanced going forward. 

STEP TWO: Share your perspectives with each other.  Give each family or team member a few minutes to share what they noticed in their review.  Encourage everyone to be fully present and listen to each other with open hearts and minds (egos left at the door) and you will find there is much you can take from the gift of others’ experiences.  This sharing can help others learn from our mistakes and us from theirs.  Doing this in a mature way enables us to avoid doing the same thing as well as allowing us more time to focus on doing the things that work to get us where we want to go.  You can even make it more fun by having a light level competition for who made the ‘best‘ mistake.  This can be rated by the quality of lesson that came out of it.  Sharing success and banking mistakes is a great new year group rapport builder and will get the team juices flowing forward with greater alignment. 

STEP THREE:  Frame your 2011.  Having reflected on the past year and juiced it for learnings, shared and celebrated achievements, the next step is looking forward.  “The best way to predict the future is to invent it”  (Werner Erhard). 

Consider the following questions as deeply as you can: (again on your own or in a group setting).

  • What sort of year do you want to have in 2011?  What are your intentions?  Look ahead up the road of 2011 and see what you see.....are you headed in the right direction, the one that will take you where you say you want to go, or where you feel compelled to go (vocation)?  Really let yourself go for it in this step.  Focus as much as you can on a vision of how you want to think and feel about what you are doing with your life this year rather than setting specific goals - that is another step for those who thrive on goal setting.  By seeding an intention with conviction, ie: one you are truly committed to, you align your internal system in that direction and when that happens....magic and miracles happen.  Once you connect fully with an intention (this goes for any area of life), when you really really mean it, when you truly believe even if it’s only for a nanosecond, energy will automatically be mobilised in that direction. 

For example I want 2011 to be a ‘change gears’ year in which I willingly cooperate even more fully with my own ‘evolutionary integrity’ (authentic self).  Note that I am not defining how that could be or even what that might look like.  I am leaving that wide open because I have learned there is so much not known to me I can’t possibly imagine all that might happen and what does happen could be way better than I can imagine from where I am now and I want to stay open to that.  This intention helps me ‘see‘ the things that happen this year through the lens I have chosen and speeds up my process if I get myself stuck (which I managed to do this year already).  I actually surprised myself with how quickly I moved through my ‘moment’ and how differently I dealt with it compared to similar situations in the past.  Awareness is the light that can shine in the dark corners of unconsciousness.

BEWARE THE BACKLASH

It is a spiritual and rational truth that when we say we want to go to some other destination, everything in the way must arise to be addressed before we can get there.  We usually call these things obstacles and challenges and roll our eyes when it is suggested they are also opportunities.  They are opportunities: to get you closer to what you say you want if you engage with them, or they could be a signal that you are heading in the wrong direction so are then opportunity to clarify and re-choose.  It is much easier to tell the difference between a hurdle we need to go beyond and a brick wall with ‘turn back‘ written on it when we are attuned to our intentions in alignment with our internal compass (another superpower called intuition).  Bottom line, we must ‘do the work‘ if we are to reap the rewards.  You don’t get fruit trees unless ground is broken and seeds are planted and  nurtured.  Your commitment to your intention and the power of your purpose is what will carry you through even the toughest of times.  The trick is to remember this when we are actually faced with these challenges because they are usually profoundly uncomfortable moments that test our commitment.

We all have the capacity to make meaning of our experiences.  The challenge is to make meaning that assists our evolution as Viktor Frankl pointed out in his classic “Man’s Search for Meaning”.

This simple three step process can make the difference between abdicating responsibility by simply following the noise in the dark hoping you are headed in the right direction ready to blame others if you are led astray, and having a powerful head mounted torch that helps you see clearly - hands free - so you stumble less, avoid snake pits and crocodiles and left free to choose the best path forward (even if you find yourself the only one on it).  If you do take a wrong turn - make a mis-take - it is a much speedier process to get back out and on the right track again, bringing the lessons of your detour with you.  Being unconscious is like walking in the dark.  Having a torch offers the light of conscious awareness and hugly expanded choices.

All you need now is to stay off auto-pilot, ‘notice what you notice’ and respond to the opportunities that present themselves along your way.  If you really mean business, and your intention is aligned with your natural potential its only a matter of time until your dream is made manifest so be patient and get on with making your life feel worthwhile.  That is the path to living a worthwhile life.  The power of the debrief is nothing new.  It is an under-used tool that grows capacity and conscious awareness that everyone can benefit from using so make it a habit this year and watch what happens.... 

Amanda Fleming
p: +64 21 357753
e: info@amandafleming.co.nz
a: PO Box 56064
Dominion Road
Mt Eden
AUCKLAND